I just can't stop cyring these past few days, I can't even see to type I MISS HIM SO MUCH I JUST WANT TO HOLD HIM !!! MOTHERS DAY CAME AND WENT AND THEY WOULDN'T ANSWER THE DAMN PHONE, I'M SO MAD, IT FEELS LIKE I'M GREAVEING OVER A DEAD CHILD  EVERY DAY I WONDER IF I'LL EVER SEE HIM AGAIN .. MY THREE YEAR OLD TOLD ME THE OTHER NIGHT THAT "'TOMARROW WE ARE GOING TO GET OUR FAMILY BACK ", "TOMARRW WE WILL FIND BRAXTON", HOW DO TELL A THREE YEAR OLD THAT TOMARROW NEVERS COMES??? how much longer does my heart have to break ?? I FEEL LIKE I SHOULDN'T LOVE MY LITTLE GUY TOO MUCH JUST INCASE THEY STEEL HIM NEXT , SO I FIND MY SELF GOING THROUGH THE MOTIONS SOMETIMES,AND THEN I AM CONSUMED WITH GUILT BECAUSE I KNOW HE NEEDS ALL THE LOVE I HAVE LEFT, THEN I FEEL GUILTY BECAUSE I CAN'T SHOW BRAXTON ANY LOVE. THE LAST TIME I TALKED TO BRAXTON HE TOLD ME I DIDN'T SOUND GOOD AND THAT HE WOULD PRAY FOR ME THE WAY YOU TAUGHT ME HE SAID.THEN HE ASKED ME HOW MANY DAYS TILL HE CAN COME HOME, AGAIN. thats the worst question. BUT I ALWAYS SAY THE SAME THING "ASK YOUR DAD". I'M SO TIRED OF WAKEING IN THE NIGHT AND THINKING I HEAR HIM CALLING MAMMA !! I KNOW HE'S NOT THERE BUT I GO GO TO HIS ROOM ANYWAYS I LAY IN HIS BED HOLD THE LAST PJ'S HE HAD ON THE LAST TIME HE WAS HOME AND TRY TO SMELL  HIM  BUT HE'S NOT THERE. SOMETIMES OVER THE SOUND OF MY OWN CRYING I THINK I HEAR HIM CRYING THEN I WONDER  IF MAYBE HE'S SOMEWHERE CRYING FOR ME AND IS SOMETHING WRONG , HAS SOMETHING HAPPEND, IS HE COLD , IS HE HUNGRY, IS HE HURT ??? BUT I DON'T KNOW ,AND THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO TO HELP HIM IF HE NEEDS ME. SO I CRY TILL I FALL ASLEEP AGAIN . THEN WHEN I WAKE I NUMB MY SELF AND PRETEND HE NEVER WAS, SO THAT I CAN FUNTION FOR MY YOUNGER SON, AIDEN, HE PERFURES TO BE CALED "SPIDERMAN" . I FIND MY SELF SAYING HIS NAME SO I CAN FOCUS AND PUSH BRAX OUT OF MY MIND. ALL THIS TILL THE NEXT REMINDER KNOCKS ME ON MY A...  WELL I SAID TO MUCH ,JUST WANTED TO VENT AND HAVE A GOOD CRY AND AD'S STARTING TO WAKE SO NOW THAT I'VE CRIED ALL NIGHT TIME TO MAKE BREAKFAST.....

PLEASE PRAY FOR ME TODAY , THIS HAS BEEN A BAD DAY ALREADY.....

 I KNOW......I'm so sorry. I wanna say kids don't wanna be "taken care of with life Ins." money  , They want and need their mom.I know because my mother took her life in frount of me when I was five and I have never gotten over not haveing a mother.And now without my son I relive how devistateing it was with out her.And he is more than "taken care of " at his fathers with more money that I could ever dream of and all my son wants is to come home and never see his dad again he tells me every time we talk. I know how hard it is as a single mother. If you are still of child bearing years I have a sugesttion, donate you eggs , The least you can get is $4000.00 up to $8000.00 each time depending on the comp. you use. or if that is not a opption and you are healthy you can donate bone marrow that pays about $7-800.00 or donate white blood cells for about $400.00 although these things are not fun or feel great. Think how your kids will admier you for doing anything to be with them no matter how hard it gets. I'm not perfect I felt the same way you have , but no one is probibly going to help , as a single mother your on your own as you have always been so hang on. It's durring a time of adverseity that a person shows their true colors. This is the time to show everyone what your made of. You can do this!!! Please don't think I'm preaching at you I just hate to see someone feel the way I do sometimes. I'm a week away from being homeless , so I'll just have to start over. I hope this helps a little

This is the most depressing site ever, You people know we are all just spinning our wheels. And nothing is ever going to come of this . Not with all the gold in china, This world is one crule place.... full of nothingness.

Oh p.s. I did not bring up the subject of " religion"  I asked "what would Jesus do" in refrunce to not judgeing but helping and loveing EVERYONE. Be it that you don't seem to know the differance between JESUS AND RELIGION, tells me everything I need to know about you. 

OH NO, you and everyone who knows you personaly, knows you are NOT Jesus or anything like him. And first of all I don't want or need or care if you side with me or not because you mean nothing to me or my son, your nobody. I wasn't looking for anyone to side with me . I was just looking for humans with a heart. What you think of me, knowing nothing about anything but those four walls that are closeing in on you , is as unimportant as you are. I only responded so that everyone would know what you really are. That you sit there acting like "God" desideing who is worthy of your help. If you think you said anything that I didn't already know from a legal stand point.Then you underestimated me. I used every legal opption I had. And pro bono wont touch child custody, you didn't know what you were talking about on that one. Been there done that , spent every dime I had. I know where I stand and without more money there is nothing I can do. I wasn't asking for legal advice, I was looking for a way to be closer to my son. I'll never have enough money to fight him. Gave blood & donateid bone marrow & donateing my eggs didn't put a dent in it. Besides the legal system is just there to make those people rich, how else are they gonna get that "Lexus"if they don't drag it out , it's just our lives there playing with , my innocent little boys life. I'm not the one in the wrong in the matter. But what you did do was call me a lier on that first post . My child was stolen by a man he did not know because his father did not want to know him. I never kept them apart , I pushed their relationship as a matter of fact . He only got him because of money, alot of it. I never stood a chance, And now I have not seen my baby in over a year . And out of desperation I posted my story on this crap, and the first person I got was you , retelling what you think happend, YOU didn't "simply post information  relative to my post you attacked me!!!!! and you did assume who was the better parent, when you stated " that I wasn't telling the truth or whole story" thats the same as calling me a lier. You don't even know me or the whole story, how dare you! I wasn't asking for your thoughts on who you think I am as a mother, I was looking for help!!! Again the tittle of my post saies everything .YOU could push someone over the edge with what you choose to say . I was about as low as any real mother would be after loseing my son and all you did was poor salt on an open wound . Maybe your wrIght about one thing, I can't fight him any more or the high prices of the courts anymore. But I'll be damned if I sit here and listen to a nother know it all talk me as if I'm a bad mother , walk a mile in my shoes with never haveing no one or nothing in your life other than your kids and see if you can do better. I had given up and then I found "Aidpage" and I thought I could try one more time then you came along. Why don't you climb down off that high horse and join the real world .     

I can't see how "you people" can be so helpful and kind to all these other people and you were so cold and curl to me about the loss of my son. If you even remember me ,I have deleted your comments and wasn't going to respond to the likes of you .And then I came across your profile and read all the wonderfull things youv'e done for everyone else. I'm so tired of people like you judgeing me , you think you know everything, and that you are some how better than me . You need to think you are doing something to help these people so that you can feel better about your self,because deep down you know you are worse than most of the people you think are beneith you. I came on here for edvice or help to get to my son. You had the nerve to call me a lier, you must be on my son's fathers payroll as well. You'll get yours come judgement day lets just hope the good out weight's the bad. You have no idea what I've been through nor could you begain to understand if you did. People like you walking through life with everything handed to them need a wake up call.  But I'll tell you what I don't wish anything bad on you , I will pray for your soul and that you may grow as person and stop desideing who needs help on ""aidpage"" and start helping everyone. Just remember what would JESUS do!   

Hello my name is Micki. Iam a single mother of two beautiful little boys, Braxton 8 yrs old & Aiden 3yrs old. A little over two yrs ago my son moved to NY with his father. I have court ordered visitation in the summer and on holidays. His father is going against the order and wont let my son come home. He hasn't been home in a year. This is killing us. Im under so much presure because my son made me promis that his little brother and I would move to Long sland N.Y. as soon as we could .There are no words to tell you what this has been like for my family, my three yr old starves himself for wks at a time when his brother left, and each time after he visits the same, and thats just the begaining of what we go through. It's been two yrs and we are no closer to moveing. I don't have the funds to move , don't know how to find a three bedroom home for my children and I there , not to mention finding a job there that will afford us to live. I can not afford legal councel at all, so I am unable to file comtemt charges against his father..... My son has some special needs, he has "CAPD" hearing difficulty, and "ADHD", also has an inoppreible "aracnoid cyst", in his brain that was descovered right befor he left to live with his father. I know nothing about my sons medical wellbeing now that he is there , I know nothing about his education now that he's there, and it was ordered that his father provide me with that info. His father never met "his" son untill he was almost three, and that was because we went to NY to make him meet him. ONLY after that did he imedietly file for custody of my son .We fought for over two yrs. untill I ran out of money, Im still paying that off. Please befor you assume I wasn't proven "unfit" , that law doesn't apply to Oklahoma. Just "best interest" = IE", who has more money. What I need is help someway to get there, (N.Y.) money, job, home. ASAP". Thank you for anything you can do. I'm not looking for a hand out, not looking for a new life , my sons needs me and we need him. What has happend is wrong and I can't let this go on till he is 18 . I will do anything to get back in my little boys life. If there is any thing I can do for you in return please don't hesitate to ask. P.S. I miss him so very much.....please, please help us!!!